Thomas's New Life
by Lovely Little Dove
Summary: Meet Thomas, a socially-awkward, lonely, weird dude, who just wants to find his dream woman. He gets a job as an intern at the local park, and craziness ensues as he meets his new, rather disturbing, 'bros' there, as well as his new love interest, Johanna, who is already taken by his worst enemy. Join Thomas on his humorous misadventures through life itself. Can he survive it?


**A Goat Named Thomas**

* * *

Meet Thomas, a socially-awkward, lonely, weird dude, who just wants to find his dream woman and 'score'. He gets a job as an intern at the local park, and craziness ensues as he meets his new, rather disturbing, 'bros' there, as well as his new love interest, Johanna, who is taken by his worst enemy. Join Thomas on his humorous misadventures through life itself. Will love blossom? Will Thomas score? Can he survive working at the park?

* * *

1: Wet Dreams and Rude Schemes

* * *

_"Oh yeah! Fuck me harder Thomas! Give it to me good! Yeah! Ooohh! Faster!" Megan Fox cries. "Yeah baby, your so tight!" Thomas moaned and thrusted faster inside her. "I'm gonna cum!" Thomas moaned, and threw his head back, "Ahh!" he whimpered-_ Then he woke up. "Oh crap... I'm late for work." Thomas mumbled as he looked at his alarm clock that had already went off.

He sighed and got up tiredly, groaning as he rushed to the shower. He began to warm the water up. In the mean time, he got his clothes ready, and ate a banana lying on the counter that his mother left him. He read a note she left that stated: _"I love you my sweetie pie cute muffin cake! Have a nice day at work!" _Thomas smiled slightly, then stripped himself and jumped in the shower.

He washed off with soap and water, and jumped out, turning the water off. He dried off quickly. He combed his hair, and his goatee, he put on deodorant, brushed his teeth, tossed his clothes on, and sprayed on axe. He grabbed his cell phone and wallet, then rushed to his car. He drove to the park as fast as he could, and pulled in on the soft, cut grass. He jumped onto the stairs next to Muscle Man, and it broke with him, as usual. He groaned again.

Muscle man bursted out laughing and snorting like an idiot. He was joined by Hi-5 ghost, and even Benson laughed. "Why were you late Thomas?" he questioned, checking some things off on his clip board. "I-Uh..." Thomas watched as another car pulled in, and a gorgeous fawn walked out. She had shining blonde scrunched curls that rested on her shoulders and back, with straight bangs across the forehead.

Her makeup was done beautifully, and she was tall and slender, like a model. She had a golden tan, and was petite. She was wearing a long floral print dress and strapped sandals, with a golden necklace around her neck. Thomas felt his heart pounding in his chest. He had to have her. He saw her lift an adorable chubby baby deer into her arms. Her light brown curly hair was in tiny pigtails, and she was dressed in a pink onesie, with a pacifier hanging from her tiny pink lips.

Then out came Thomas' worst enemy. It was the guy who bullied him in high school. The popular jock was now a rich man, with the woman Thomas wanted. He was ruining his life, even out of school. His name would be Conway. Conway was a large, muscular buck, with stunning good looks. He sighed sadly, totally forgetting about Benson. Benson's face got red and he screamed. "THOMAS! WHY WERE YOU LATE!?" Mordecai and Rigby's eyes widened at his outburst and they actually remained quiet. "I slept in..." Thomas sighed.

"Thats what I thought." Benson hissed. "Get to work!" he yelled, and everyone scattered off, except Mordecai and Rigby. "Hey Thomas, we saw you checking out that woman." Mordecai smirked, and Rigby nodded. "Go get her dude! She's totally hot!" Rigby laughed and gave Thomas a brofist. "Thanks guys... but i doubt she'll want anything to do with a loser like me." Thomas whispered as the two pals walked off.

Thomas noticed that Conway was gone, and that the gorgeous lady was playing with her baby on the playground. He slowly approached her with an awkward smile. She was sitting on the swings, the baby on her lap. "Hey," he stated, his face turning red. "Hi!" she showed off a drop-dead gorgeous grin with stunning white teeth. "Uh, my name is Thomas..." he chuckled and rubbed his shoulder.

"Thomas Goat!? Oh. My. God. We went to high school together! Remember Johanna Smith!?" she giggled excitedly, and stroked her daughter's hair. It suddenly hit Thomas like a ton of bricks. "Yes! I do! You were the captain of the cheerleading team! How's life going?" Thomas questioned, feeling happy he was getting close to her.

"Well, I got married to Conway, and this is our daughter Tessa. Say hi Tessa." Johanna smiled sweetly, and helped Tessa wave her tiny, chubby arm at Thomas. "She's adorable. I'm really happy for you. So, whats your job?" Thomas swung himself slightly, and she sighed deeply. "I work as a Victoria's Secret model." Thomas imagined her in the sexy lingerie, and felt himself sweat. "That job suits you. Your like, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You're like an angel." he complimented. Her face turned bright red.

"Thanks, I get that a lot." she let out an adorable laugh, and he laughed along with her. "So, maybe we should hang out some time." Thomas cracked a childish grin, and she couldn't resist. "All right! Sounds like a good time. We could roller skating tonight for charity. I really like to help the community." she fluttered her long mascara-coated eyelashes, and Thomas felt like he was going to melt to goop. "Yeah, me to. See you there." Thomas laughed and got up. He ran off cheering and shouting like an idiot, and all Johanna could do was giggle at his silliness.

* * *

**Well guys, thats it for the first chapter. Please follow, favorite, and review this story. Thanks so much for reading! :)**


End file.
